My Road to Wholeness + Healing Scriptures

My Road to Wholeness has been a journey that has been worth it every step of the way despite the many pitfalls and trying over again (hence my desire to include healing scriptures). While we'd like for our walk towards change to be a smooth one, unfortunately, true healing doesn't always look linear. Yet still, the journey doesn't take away from the growth + stretching that creates the best version of yourself once you fully commit to + embrace the process.

My Road to Healing + Wholeness. It's a long time coming. And while it hasn't been the easiest to get here, one thing's for sure-----it's truly been worth it in the end.

The past few years have been the hardest in many ways for me, if I'm honest. I've been stretched by God in ways that I never imagined that I could survive and there have been so many transitions involved. At times, you went through the phase of feeling like you've gotten things figured out or at least a good traction and then another thing comes that reminds you that you truly don't have ANYTHING down packed. Our need for God is a truth that many (including myself in the past) didn't want to admit. BUT now, I've realized that embracing my dependency on Him makes everything better because He's sovereign and knows ALL.

Over the past few years, I've gone through everything from:

Motherhood + it's challenges, Financial Instability + hitting rock bottom, New Living Arrangements, Dropping out of College, Starting a New Business with no experience or resources, Health Challenges, Relationship Challenges, Embarrassment, Isolation, Anxiety + Depression, Family Wounds, Unpacking Trauma through Therapy, Business + Personal Failures, + a host of other things.

To say the least, it's been a crazy couple of years and now that I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (and a few days from my 35th Birthday)----I wanted to share my journey in hopes that it helps + encourages someone else reading it.

Sometimes you might have to crawl your way towards wholeness. I know that I did. Much like in the bible, the woman with the issue of blood had to press her way through the crowd fully weakened and still in her ailment---telling herself "that if I could just touch his garment, I will be made well" [Matthew 9:21] so that she could be whole. It's a messy, unpredictable, nerve-wrecking, and stretching process. But one that changes EVERYTHING!

Jump to:

• The Most Important Takeaway from Healing.
• Lessons Learned Along the Road to Wholeness
• The Process
• The Fruits of the Spirit
• When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Sweet Tea.
• I Had to Relinquish Control of it All with God
• Deliverance from Generational Curses
• Walking in My Purpose
• Scriptures on Healing
• My Final Top 5 Things I've Learned Overall:

That's what I'm here to do-----Show you that healing isn't always pleasant as I've mentioned. It's HARD. It's TOUGH. It's DIFFERENT. It's UNCOMFORTABLE. It's PAINFUL. It can be LONELY. But it's WORTH IT and you, my friend are WORTHY OF IT.

The Most Important Takeaway from Healing.

Healing is all about letting go of the things that defile you, so that you can grasp onto the things + people that help to cultivate you into the person that you were created to be by God. That person doesn't have to be some big name or be the founder of some major corporation. It's never about your title or influence that brings about your significance.

That person can just be someone who is absolutely grounded, full of joy, + filled with love [the greatest command by God]. Whoever you've been created to be is MAGICAL + necessary for the will of God. Never allow what you see others doing cause you to feel LESS about what you're doing. Your best impact is in your understanding that whatever you were called + created to do is not only enough, but it's actually what your graced to do. Your healing is CHANGING generations after you. That's the greatest change that we can create. Let that sink in.

Lessons Learned Along the Road to Wholeness

My road to wholeness and healing has meant that I needed to be intentional about my thought processes, interactions, and heart posture towards EVERYTHING. There's a lot of unlearning and relearning that's involved. There's a lot of digging deep that's required which can feel triggering because we often try to repress past experiences as a way of protecting ourselves. But more importantly, there's a lot of spiritual revelations required to determine generational curses, patterns, and strongholds which can only be defeated through your submission to Jesus and His blood.

The thing about this journey to real wholeness is that it truly requires your YES. Your yes is the surrender to God and His sovereignty and will. It's understanding that not all things are pleasant or edifying, but "they work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose" [Romans 8:28].

Here's what I've learned so far:

• The season of "waiting on God" is tiring and takes a lot out of you, if I'm honest. But you must remain praying + seeking Him and being obedient.
• Prayer is essential to connecting with God [balancing between making our petition (aka requests) know to Him + being silent enough to hear from Him].
• God uses our circumstances + problems to "set the scene" for Him to work and get the ultimate Glory!
• Our blessings and/or gifts are not just for us, it's for the edification of others.
• It's important to further develop the fruits of the spirit [See further below for more on this].
• Prayer should include God's word as the base for it to work best.
• Jesus is with you in the "pit" just as much as He is in the "palace".
• The purpose of the test is to reveal what's in your heart. Purification, uprooting, + removing all things that defile you [i.e. unforgiveness, hatred, jealousy, idolatry, etc.]
• God is sovereign----meaning He orchestrates EVERYTHING for it's ultimate good, regardless of what we see as "good" or "bad".
• Relationship is important for the revelation of God. Doing religious things aren't enough [i.e. going to church, etc.]
• The purpose of trials is to develop us and train us for our destiny.
• It's important to do both "word" + "deed". Working for God, sowing in areas that you need help in towards others, following His commands, etc.
• Temptation vs. Sin------TEMPTATION is not equal to sin, but SIN is yielding to temptation.
• Forgiveness is CRITICAL to your destiny. God will allow "evil" to detour you to your destiny, but it's important to be a blessing to even those that "meant it for evil".
• God will bless you quickly, suddenly, fast, immediately-------it doesn't take Him much time when it's time to perform. He just needs you to be ready first!

In my most difficult moments, I've learned that the things that are meant for your growth aren't always the most pleasant and end up looking nothing like what you envisioned. Because let's face it----our vision for our life is usually a comfortable, white-picket fence version of what reality can actually be. It's not until I learned to be open to the other versions of what my life could be that I saw new birthings of what my life was meant to be.

The Process

Of course, that meant that I had to seriously sit with myself in God's presence, unpack the inner parts of myself that I often tried to ignore because they were too painful, and dissect everything in ways that allowed me to do the following: take accountability for my parts in any dysfunction, compartmentalize relationships in their rightful place, uncover my childhood + traumas that affected me, maneuver through emotions that I've sheltered or repressed, and best see myself correctly in the midst of it all------ through actual Therapy for the past 2+ years.

My Biggest discoveries:

• Anxiety + depression existed throughout a lot of my childhood unknowingly being an only child for a majority of the time----among other things.
• My identity was struck hard during the absence of my father in my life as well as after his presence due to the verbal/emotional abuse.
• I idolized my grandparents based on their love, but realized that it wasn't entirely what I thought.
• I had "mommy issues" + "daddy issues" that needed a resolve.
• My sense of self + keen awareness produced more pride than I'd like to admit.
• Being bullied throughout my childhood affected the way I saw myself----which lead to feeling the need to compromise myself to "fit in".
• My walk with Jesus was more shallow than I'd like to admit. It was more about what He could give me instead of what I could give Him.
• I didn't understand what love actually was---not love of self, others, or God.
• My lack of transparency and vulnerability were a defense mechanism that supposedly kept the "bad" out, BUT also didn't allow "good" to enter.
• I spent more time focusing on helping others and listening to others out of a selfish need to feel "wanted" instead of a pure desire.
• I made the need to be accepted + relationships an idol.
• Learning the game of comparison from previous abuse created jealousy + envy that I couldn't shake in every compacity.
• Being a mother felt more like a "task" than a calling because I was learning to mother from a place of being un-mothered myself.
• I focused a lot more on blaming others and circumstance as a way to avoid accountability.
• Unforgiveness turned into bitterness which affected my outlook on myself and others.
• I didn't trust God like I said I did. That showed up in the way I chose to "handle it myself" when problems arose versus depending on His way + timing.
• I attracted Narcissists because I had certain traits myself.
• I felt more like a failure than not, which caused me to spend a lot of time pursuing success as a way to "prove myself".
• Shame + guilt were my 'best friends' in a lot of my experiences that stemmed from childhood traumas.
• I was searching for peace, answers, love, and a way out through everything but Jesus----which had their spiritual implications.
• So much more.

While my Faith in God has been built and strengthened like never before, especially in the last few months, I do understand the importance of coupling my Faith with practical tools [i.e. therapy] as it relates to healing + journeying to wholeness.

It has been the best + worst part of this entire journey, because it has forced me to confront the things about myself and my life that I've tried so hard to run away from. Yet, facing them, seeking God for revelation, having tough conversations, fasting, reading God's word, and really surrendering my life to Christ-----has created the most beautiful outcome. There's so much wisdom, peace, and healing that comes from walking through the process.

The Fruits of the Spirit

As I mentioned before, one of the things that God wants for us to exude is the fruit of the spirit. For this to be the case, you'll need to receive the gift of salvation in Jesus as well as the Holy Spirit, which produces the 'fruit' I'll list below. As a believer, having the fruits of the spirit is a key indicator of your valid walk with Christ. There's no in between.

"Either make the tree good & it's fruit good, or make the tree bad and it's fruit bad, for the tree is known by it's fruit" --- Matthew 12:33

Here are the fruits:

Fruit of Love: Love for God and others results from receiving God's perfect agape love.

Fruit of Joy: Joy is the realization of God's favor and grace in one's life. Biblical joy is happiness that isn't dependent on circumstances.

Fruit of Peace: A life of peace is safe + secure both physically and mentally. Peace results from allowing the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and minds. When we have peace, we are free from fear/worry about finances, our safety, our salvation, or eternal life.

Fruit of Forbearance: Forbearance equals patience, endurance, constancy, steadfastness, perseverance, long-suffering, + slowness to avenging wrongs.

Fruit of Kindness: Translated as gentleness with moral integrity and kindness. The Holy Spirit enables us to have moral integrity with kindness and not get trapped in self-righteous judgement.

Fruit of Goodness: Goodness means uprightness of heart and life, goodness, and kindness. It's seen in our actions.

Fruit of Faithfulness: Faithfulness is a character trait that combines dependability + trust based on our confidence in God and His eternal faithfulness.

Fruit of Gentleness: Translated as meekness. Meekness doesn't identify the weak, but more precisely the strong who have been placed in a position of weakness where they persevere without giving up.

Fruit of Self-Control: Self-control is the ability to control one's body and it's sensual appetites and desires---physically and mentally---through the power of the Holy Spirit. Relates to chastity and sobriety.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Sweet Tea.

We’ve all been there or know someone who has been there. That place where you’ve felt like Life has handed you a handful of lemons and boy, are those lemons real sour. I know that they say that you should make Lemonade with those lemons, but what if you don’t want the obvious?

I Had to Relinquish Control of it All with God

I can admit in all honesty that I had control issues (and there's still residue that I'm working on). This by far was one of my biggest stumbling blocks that I had to learn to relinquish in both my healing + with God as a whole. I've since learned that control is often used by those who fear the unpredictable and ambiguous, feel they need to prove themselves, or fear losing control-----all of which I know were my kryptonite, stemming from my childhood.

So, if you're like me, then giving up control can feel hard and almost impossible---but it's very possible with the help of God. I promise!

Ways to Let Go of Control Issues:

• Acknowledgment: Admitting that you have a problem is the first step. Do this in prayer to God and be honest! He loves our honesty.
• Surrender: Freedom begins with surrender to God. You have to put up your white flag. Give your struggle to God and let Him take control over it.
• Self-control: This is a fruit of the spirit. We have to be willing to surrender ourselves to God instead of thinking that we can do it on our own. Also, curbing any impulses or making a shift mid-way is key.
• Rest: Rest is about showing trust more than anything else. Jesus understood that he needed to rest because God is the one that makes things happen, not us. Therefore, we should follow in his footsteps.
• Ownership: If you've given your life to God, then it is no longer your own. Remembering that you belong to God makes it easier to surrender, which makes self-control easier to submit to God and allow you to rest. We are His creation, not the 'creators' we think we are.

Deliverance from Generational Curses

When it comes to ultimate healing + wholeness, you can't achieve this without spiritually tearing down the generational things that can be hindering you. While many of us talk about breaking generational curses by doing outward, physical things to acquire certain achievements,----truth is, there's a spiritual component that can't be ignored.

If you're new (or familiar) to this topic, then I highly recommend checking out the biblical teachings by Pastor Kevin L A Ewing, who breaks down so much in this area! You'll gain so much revelation. However, the gist of this is that you'll want to take inventory of your family's bloodline and point out all 'patterns' that you see [i.e. divorce, infertility, addiction, poverty, etc.] and start the process of breaking those generational strongholds and curses. To be honest, it takes a lot of fasting, prayer, repentance, renouncing, lifestyle changes (i.e. getting rid of things that aren't aligned with God), etc. to walk down the road to deliverance. But it's something that will truly set you free!

Check out my Amazon Shop for my favorite devotionals + books which cover this!

Walking in My Purpose

One of the things that I discovered along this journey as well has been what my purpose is. So often, we seek our purpose as it relates to a job or career, but rarely do we understand the main purpose for all of us: to edify others. Granted, your career might be a reflection of the area that you're called to do so---but ultimately that is our purpose---to serve.

The moment that I gained revelation on the reason why God called me to be a wife, mother, friend, content creator, business owner---whatever----everything changed in the way that I chose to approach it all. Everything is to be done with heart, excellence, and complete service to others. Pride can have us thinking that everything is about us, however, Jesus demonstrated perfectly just how little it is about us! If we served others from a selfless place in collaboration with God then we'd realize that there isn't a need for self-preservation because God supplies all of our needs--not just physical ones. He supplies the strength, peace, joy, health, and stamina to serve without being depleted---as long as we follow His lead and keep Him at the center.

"In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success" ---- Proverbs 3:6

Scriptures on Healing

1 Peter 2:24: "'He Himself bore our sins' in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; 'by His wounds you have been healed.'” 

Isaiah 40:29: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” 

Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

James 5:14-15: "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven."

Jeremiah 17:14: "Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

Psalm 103:2-3: "Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases."

Mark 5:34: "He said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.'"

Jeremiah 30:17: But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD, ‘because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.’

Jeremiah 33:6: Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.

Proverbs 17:22: A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

My Final Top 5 Things I've Learned Overall:

• We're only built for the greatest battle that we'll ever participate in. God isn't in the business of giving us battles that are greater than what He's built us to fight. And every battle can only be fought successfully with His presence. Focus on the healing scriptures above daily!
• God always fills in the Gaps. I always thought that any lack that I've ever had in life would be the thing(s) that kept me from where I wanted to go in life. Truth is----sometimes your lack will be your very stepping stone. The moment that you realize that what you have left is enough to get the job done (in partnership with God), is the moment that everything changes. Whatever you may need along the way that you didn't start with, God will give you the right person or thing to fill in the gap.
• Getting rid of the old YOU is necessary. Along my journey, I tried so hard to not give up the old version of me. For what it's worth----being the old me and all that it entailed was easier. I was used to being around the same people, fulfilling their expectations, and responding to life like I've always done. That's the thing about human nature---we love routine. However, I later realized that I needed to get rid of the old me and all the things + people that came along with it which were defiling to my spirit---not just based on personal preferences. Walking in newness takes discipline and it's a fight to remain free. That's why you can't keep the old things around----you'll lose focus + be distracted.
• Your walk will be lonely. Just understand that your walk towards healing + wholeness will be a lonely one for awhile. But that's what it's intended to be like, in all honesty. It's a time of great reflection, restructuring, stretching, stripping, depletion, and restoration. Don't worry about being alone temporarily. Once you're close to your arrival, you'll begin to meet others who have been waiting for you the entire time---put in place by God!
• How you start WILL NOT be how you finish. I once thought that my future would look similar to my past because it was inevitable. However, along this journey, I've realized that it won't look anything like it did before if you truly surrender to God's will and ways. Healing + Wholeness takes real work, but it's not impossible with God. Consistency and intention are the things needed to make it happen from your side of things. God gives us Grace because we aren't perfect and along the way, you'll feel like you're taking a few steps back at times and that's OK. Keep pressing forward though. Keep getting up and trying again.

Listen------God has been so GOOD. Way too good, especially in those moments that I thought that He wasn't near. HE WAS ALWAYS THERE. You'll see it for yourself soon enough--the more you walk with Him! Just keep stepping. Just keep seeking. Just keep praying. Just keep repenting. You'll find it all.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" --- Matthew 10:38-39

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