6 Things That Motherhood Has Taught Me

September 26, 2017
Shanika | Orchids + Sweet Tea

6 Things That Motherhood Has Taught Me

While there are many things that you learn once you step into Motherhood, I've decided to share the 6 things that Motherhood has taught me. From Relationships to the epitome of selflessness to patience. It has all been a discovery throughout my journey thus far.

Woman with her hands on her pregnant belly.

Being a mom has it's shares of ups and downs. In my most finest moments, I've felt like a Super Woman with her cape and huge "S" on her chest as I watch a little human being look up to me the way that my little human does, sometimes.

On the flip side of things, you may have those days of feeling exhausted from trying to be the very Super Woman that you often take pride in. However, I've learned that motherhood does not require us to be perfect. It just requires us to be present. That's a mantra I've learned to lean on daily!

Throughout my journey in motherhood for the past 2 ½ years, I must say that nothing has taught me more about life than this. I'm proud to say that I've taken so many good things from the lessons I've learned, even when they felt the hardest to endure.

Whether you're a Mama of 1, 2, 3, 4 or maybe even more kids; you can understand the fact that the number of kids you have does not matter as much as the love and nurture that you successfully place inside each of them.

Oftentimes, I feel so inspired by Mamas who are doing everything on their own because they have to. It's so much easier to walk away, give up, or not even try at all. Yet, they throw on their capes (tattered and all) and do what is necessary to be done. I salute you, Mamas!

But I must admit that motherhood has helped me discover the many facets of myself, shed light on the relationships I've tried so hard to hold on to, as well as a level of love that goes beyond what you want, feel, or think.

Motherhood is a big teacher and once fully embraced, you'll begin to realize that there is nothing in the world worth having than the very responsibility of creating a "good" human being for the world to see one day. Any mamas can relate?

Black and white picture of a stuffed bear in front of a window.

Everything has changed, yet I am more me than I've ever been. -Iain Thomas

So, don't worry about the mistakes you'll make along the way or even the stuff that may take you a few more trials + errors to get right. You're doing good, Mama! Always remember that a Mother's instinct is by far the best thing that will always lead to a child that is safe, loved, and nurtured. Just follow your gut.

And on those days that feel like "hell" or may be a bit too overwhelming; just take a few deep breathes, say a prayer for strength, and drink that glass of wine if it makes you feel a tiny bit better. Being a Super Woman is a lot to live up to on a daily basis. Trust me, I understand. That's why I decided to share the things I've learned since becoming a Mama thus far:

"Self" really does go out the door.

Ok, so while most people say that when you have a child it's no longer about you, but them; I doubt that many people REALLY believe in this fact. Motherhood has taught me that my little one comes before me. And this is not in the sense of me not existing as most people fear.

It's more of a fact that I begin seeing wants vs. needs in a whole new light. It's more about creating my child's future and meeting his needs versus indulging in my wants all the time. It's an act of being self-less in more ways than one.

It's choosing to work extra hard to create opportunities for your child (whether it's the best early development or best things for later in life). It's coloring in the lines of their coloring book during the moments where you feel the most tired and would rather be lazy while binging on your favorite show. It's in the moments of participating in an all around healthier lifestyle so that you are the living example for your child to see that healthy is better. It's whatever you choose to do, not because you want to, but because you need to.

You see the value of relationships, differently.

Being a mom has taught me the value of relationships on a new profound level. Previously, I settled to keep certain relationships in fears of ending up alone or maybe based on societal expectations. But now, I've thrown all of that out of the window.

Motherhood teaches you what unconditional love feels like before it begins to be tainted by life's challenges. Therefore, it adds a fresh new pair of eyes to what is really important and the notion that settling isn't the way to go about anything! I've learned that it's better to be alone than surrounded by people who can't truly love you.

Patience is key.

When you've been a Mama for more than 2.5 seconds, you'll begin to learn that patience is in fact key. Nothing goes the way you want it to all the time and in fact, it sometimes takes a bit longer than we'd like.

This can be in the literal sense of Motherhood, such as a child's many milestones and the time frame in which each happens or perhaps it can mean that the things you've currently been working on just may take some time before it becomes a success.

All in all, motherhood has taught me that without patience, you simply end up being a chicken with your head cut off, ultimately going nowhere. So, it's important to slow down and gain clarity on everything that requires time.

It's OK to want differently than you've received.

One of the most critical moments along my journey of motherhood is my wanting different for my little guy than I've had for myself. Believe it or not, but most of the criticism was internal. I feared that wanting certain things to be different wouldn't allow me to fit in because that meant that I had to first do things differently on my part.

Not having my son in daycare was a big elephant in the room during many conversations with others who just couldn't fathom the idea of a child NOT being in daycare. However, I've learned to sit comfortably in the truth that it just works for my family and I, even if that means being more flexible with work and going down a new route of being an entrepreneur. Or perhaps, it's the notion that breastfeeding only should last for a few months versus the 2 full years that I've decided to keep going at it.

Or maybe, it's the notion of participating in certain activities in a particular neighborhood that may not necessarily be the same thing that those around you have been exposed to. Whatever that different is, just know that it's OK to want differently for your child than what you've received.

For many of us, we didn't always get the best because our parents couldn't afford it or chose not to, but you can do things differently for your own child.

Plate of pasta with a fork.

Your challenges will be more inspiring than your success.

It actually took me a while to fully grasp my head around this, but now that I am a Mom, I understand it entirely. So often as parents (or just human beings in general), we try to showcase our success more than our struggle.

And while this isn't something that everyone can handle, I've learned that my kids will be more proud and feel more inspired by the challenges that I was able to tackle versus the entirety of my success. It's a matter of showing others (including your children) that it truly doesn't matter where you've started, but more so where you finish.

And without the pressures of being perfect, "rich" or appearing that you have money, and always having your "ish" together; you can still reach the epitome of success as long as you are willing to work hard, protect your character, stay motivated, and help others on your journey there.

I believe strongly that this is in fact more inspirational than simply making it there without having a beginning story that may have said differently. It gives everyone a plain field. It shows your children that in spite of the many mistakes that they will someday make (trust me, they will! We all do!), you can still be something great!

Being a Mother is more than just wearing it's title.

This is by far one of the, if not the most important lesson of them all. Too often, I see people being uplifted and celebrated by just wearing the title of Motherhood.

Much like being a Father, unfortunately, there are many mothers who have contributed in small amounts (or not at all) in the same ways. And while being a Mother (or Father) can never be truly stripped of anyone, it's definitely beyond just wearing a title.

It's consistent dedication. It's a lifelong sacrifice that you make for your child, even when they are old and gray and you both share that commonality. It's when you've made your child feel loved even in the grimmest moments.

It's about what you do, not what you say or don't say. Once again, it's selfless, patient, kind, loving, wanting better for your child (even if it's more than what you've ever had), and it's about inspiring them to be all of those things along their own life's journey. There is no way to be a perfect mother, BUT a million ways to be a good one...

Purple flower against a purple background.

A Real Mom:

Emotional, yet the rock.

Tired, but keeps going.

Worried, but full of hope.

Impatient, yet patient.

Overwhelmed, but never quits.

Amazing, even though doubted.

Wonderful, even in the chaos.

Life changer, every single day. 

-Rachael Martin

Giraffes Can\'t Dance book surrounded by beauty products.

These are the 6 things that I've learned throughout my journey of Motherhood.



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  1. All so true Shanika!! I love the part about being selfless-- it's a whole new way to look at your life (and so much for the better). It makes you a different person. Plus-- love the variety of photos you chose to insert. Great post! Hope all's well with you-- love the whole tone of your blog... xox friend!

    • Awww, thanks so much Rhonda! Yes, being selfless is a big part of Motherhood, but it's definitely for the best as you've stated. I'm learning as I go! Thanks so much again for all the support and kind words my dear friend. Very much cherished! Hugs + more hugs! 🙂